Sit down and think about all the things you appreciate about her, and the life you've built together. Tell her.
What about her place in all that you're doing with your community activities?
What is it costing her for you to do this - not just in $, but all the rest?
How much does her support mean to your freedom to do what you doing, and your success in doing it? I'm guessing it's a lot. Tell her.
If you're like the vast majority of men out there, you think these things, but you'te crap at saying them. And even if you're not, she will still appreciate the time and effort you will take to write it all down. She'll treasure that more than anything you could buy.
What are her love languages? Does she like gifts, affection, words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time?
Think of what she has said to you in the past and go from there.
For me personally, it’s his time that means the most to me. We’ve been married 25 years this year, together for 35.
It never needs to be over the top for me. But as an example you could try one or multiple of the following.
Maybe find a nice picture of you two and frame it (doesn’t need to be professional). Hang it in your bedroom.
Either make her breakfast or take her out. What does she prefer?
A personal message (or letter) in a card is always at the top of my list but I am an old school girl.
If you want to spoil her all day, then do the same for dinner. Either cook or take her out. A homemade cake always gets me. Even if it’s out of a box. It’s the time they’ve given up.
Weather is getting better. Does she enjoy walks or hiking?
I appreciate knowing someone has thought about me and given up time to do things or show me they are thinking about me. I’m not huge on gifts but would never turn down a massage. Lol.
What would be really nice though is if it’s already booked so she doesn’t need to plan it. I say take her out for breakfast and then drop her off for a massage and be there to pick her up. Maybe an afternoon walk. Again, thinking about what she likes and has said things about in the past that she enjoys.
Now that I’ve planned my perfect birthday, Good luck! LOL
Hope she’s happy with whatever you decide. There’s some very good ideas in here.
Yep. I get where you are. Freedom loving takes a toll on every perspective of our lives. The rabbit holes are sooo deep. And if your partner isn’t on board. Very difficult. As time has gone on it’s rather ironic. I’m starting to crawl out of the holes. Living life. My holes not as dangerous and deep as yours. Funny. As I am climbing out of the holes my partner is diving in ….
🤪. “
Did you read this ? Did you watch that ?
Nope. Balance. Need a balance. The mental toll. On everyone. Not saying we stop. Or forget.
But take a break. It’s ok to live. And not be in battle mode. Take a few days off. Devote it just to her. Time. She wants your time. Attention. And love. It was explained to me that this battle is like an addiction. Consuming us who are awake. And I guess the ones we love feel like they are losing us just like those with physical dependence on drugs or alcohol.
Make sense ? Coming from another freedom loving Canadian ❤️🇨🇦.
BabsFF68. Your post really resonated with me. I too have been slowly climbing out of the rabbit hole. While I want to stay informed I also need to life my life. I purged a lot of my substack memberships and various daily email publications. I kept the substacks that I still enjoy and obviously Sheldon's is one of them.
It must be working because my daughter mentioned that I seemed content and happy. It really is about trying to find a healthy balance.
Take her on a date, maybe a picnic at her favorite place west if Calgary. Write her a heartfelt note (not a bought card). Maybe find some old photos to share of the two of you
I've been married for 32 years and always appreciate a weekend away but if money is tight I would suggest you make her, her favorite dish and cake. Make her a card and spill your guts in that card but don't write a book. A couple of paragraphs. A little keepsake angel from a hallmark store is always nice. Hope that helps
Tell her the truth, women don't need a birthday cake or romantic dinner.
Take her to the park, have glass of wine, thank you her commitment last 30 years, sacrifices, standing beside you throughout all of these times, good and bad.
Let her know that no matter what, you love her unconditionally, appreciate everything about her, acknowledging these have been very nutty challenging times.
Make a plan in the park, promise to one another.
What does freedom mean to both of you.
What does it mean to your wife.
Perhaps 2025 you fly to Mexico for three months, perhaps it's driving down to the US, whatever it is make plan and get excited about it!
She must be sooo cool....my b-day is May 30th...Gemini power!!! ♊
Find something that was very important to her when she was young....like her favourite book that is out-of-print ...that's what would be special for me......
Include God in your relationship. Pray. 🙏🏼 Pray together. Read the Bible together. Worship God together. It doesn’t have to be in a church, it can be anywhere, at the lake, in the mountains, at home snuggled up with The Bible next to the fireplace.
I don’t know if you or your wife have accepted The Lord Jesus Christ into your lives, but I suggest that you spend time with Him every single day together. It’s important.
Your lives won’t be perfect, we are sinners, but it will be more enriched and full of way more love, compassion and understanding. You learn to honor one another.
Start today. The world is crumbling right before our eyes. We all need God. Find Him. Include Him.
I'm not sure if you have Pinot's Palette Sheldon but see if you can find a near equivalent.
Pinot's Palette is Painting while drinking Wine.
"But I can't paint!" my wife complained, when I first suggested it to her a few years ago. HAH! boy was she surprised, the instructor takes you through the baby steps, paint-by-numbers style, sipping some red or white as you go. Tappin' your toes to some tunes.
"Did I really paint THAT‽" she said when the show was over. 'Yes you did, pretty good eh?'
See if you can find a Pinot's Palette Sheldon or the nearest equivalent.
It really is!!! We have a hoot every time we do one. There is no Pinot's Palette where we live but a young artist has started the equivalent "Paint and Drink", so much fun
Ps just google blue topaz silver necklace and you can find nice really ones for $100-200. (I get compliments on mine all the time. same with my labradorite necklace everyone always loves it.) (I also love rose quartz bracelets but they are for more casual daily wear jewelry)
Beautiful ideas above with personal letter, picnic, old treasured memories etc.
I like something called “menu of small offers”, women can get overwhelmed/put off by big gestures so several small ideas that can provide a path forward can feel safe and caring (yes I’m stereotyping here!).
Something like -
I want to treat you would you like a shoulder rub or a foot massage?
Would you like a cup of coffee or a glass and of wine once I’ve finished?
So small actions/treats that can help build to more intimacy and closeness.
Sorry if that’s a bit convoluted I’m paraphrasing what I remember from whomever said it years ago in an email blog I got 🤔😂
Write her a letter Sheldon.
Sit down and think about all the things you appreciate about her, and the life you've built together. Tell her.
What about her place in all that you're doing with your community activities?
What is it costing her for you to do this - not just in $, but all the rest?
How much does her support mean to your freedom to do what you doing, and your success in doing it? I'm guessing it's a lot. Tell her.
If you're like the vast majority of men out there, you think these things, but you'te crap at saying them. And even if you're not, she will still appreciate the time and effort you will take to write it all down. She'll treasure that more than anything you could buy.
I know I would.
What are her love languages? Does she like gifts, affection, words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time?
Think of what she has said to you in the past and go from there.
For me personally, it’s his time that means the most to me. We’ve been married 25 years this year, together for 35.
It never needs to be over the top for me. But as an example you could try one or multiple of the following.
Maybe find a nice picture of you two and frame it (doesn’t need to be professional). Hang it in your bedroom.
Either make her breakfast or take her out. What does she prefer?
A personal message (or letter) in a card is always at the top of my list but I am an old school girl.
If you want to spoil her all day, then do the same for dinner. Either cook or take her out. A homemade cake always gets me. Even if it’s out of a box. It’s the time they’ve given up.
Weather is getting better. Does she enjoy walks or hiking?
I appreciate knowing someone has thought about me and given up time to do things or show me they are thinking about me. I’m not huge on gifts but would never turn down a massage. Lol.
What would be really nice though is if it’s already booked so she doesn’t need to plan it. I say take her out for breakfast and then drop her off for a massage and be there to pick her up. Maybe an afternoon walk. Again, thinking about what she likes and has said things about in the past that she enjoys.
Now that I’ve planned my perfect birthday, Good luck! LOL
Hope she’s happy with whatever you decide. There’s some very good ideas in here.
Ask her best friends. Or, bake a cake and invite her friends and their husbands over. Play board games and make memories :)
Yep. I get where you are. Freedom loving takes a toll on every perspective of our lives. The rabbit holes are sooo deep. And if your partner isn’t on board. Very difficult. As time has gone on it’s rather ironic. I’m starting to crawl out of the holes. Living life. My holes not as dangerous and deep as yours. Funny. As I am climbing out of the holes my partner is diving in ….
🤪. “
Did you read this ? Did you watch that ?
Nope. Balance. Need a balance. The mental toll. On everyone. Not saying we stop. Or forget.
But take a break. It’s ok to live. And not be in battle mode. Take a few days off. Devote it just to her. Time. She wants your time. Attention. And love. It was explained to me that this battle is like an addiction. Consuming us who are awake. And I guess the ones we love feel like they are losing us just like those with physical dependence on drugs or alcohol.
Make sense ? Coming from another freedom loving Canadian ❤️🇨🇦.
BabsFF68. Your post really resonated with me. I too have been slowly climbing out of the rabbit hole. While I want to stay informed I also need to life my life. I purged a lot of my substack memberships and various daily email publications. I kept the substacks that I still enjoy and obviously Sheldon's is one of them.
It must be working because my daughter mentioned that I seemed content and happy. It really is about trying to find a healthy balance.
Take her on a date, maybe a picnic at her favorite place west if Calgary. Write her a heartfelt note (not a bought card). Maybe find some old photos to share of the two of you
I've been married for 32 years and always appreciate a weekend away but if money is tight I would suggest you make her, her favorite dish and cake. Make her a card and spill your guts in that card but don't write a book. A couple of paragraphs. A little keepsake angel from a hallmark store is always nice. Hope that helps
Tell her the truth, women don't need a birthday cake or romantic dinner.
Take her to the park, have glass of wine, thank you her commitment last 30 years, sacrifices, standing beside you throughout all of these times, good and bad.
Let her know that no matter what, you love her unconditionally, appreciate everything about her, acknowledging these have been very nutty challenging times.
Make a plan in the park, promise to one another.
What does freedom mean to both of you.
What does it mean to your wife.
Perhaps 2025 you fly to Mexico for three months, perhaps it's driving down to the US, whatever it is make plan and get excited about it!
How about a quick jaunt out to the mountains? Hanging out for a weekend around Canmore and Banff lakes does wonders for clearing the mind.
She must be sooo cool....my b-day is May 30th...Gemini power!!! ♊
Find something that was very important to her when she was young....like her favourite book that is out-of-print ...that's what would be special for me......
A plant/flowers, this time of year is nice, to.
Does she like massages?
Good luck! 😘
StellaMaris. Happy Birthday on the 30th. And yes to Gemini power! My birthday was yesterday, the 26th of May.
Happy Sun Revolution to you, too!!! 😘
Start today. Don’t wait.
Include God in your relationship. Pray. 🙏🏼 Pray together. Read the Bible together. Worship God together. It doesn’t have to be in a church, it can be anywhere, at the lake, in the mountains, at home snuggled up with The Bible next to the fireplace.
I don’t know if you or your wife have accepted The Lord Jesus Christ into your lives, but I suggest that you spend time with Him every single day together. It’s important.
Your lives won’t be perfect, we are sinners, but it will be more enriched and full of way more love, compassion and understanding. You learn to honor one another.
Start today. The world is crumbling right before our eyes. We all need God. Find Him. Include Him.
Much Love Through Prayer and Faith,
Suzie
Pinot's Palette without a doubt.
I'm not sure if you have Pinot's Palette Sheldon but see if you can find a near equivalent.
Pinot's Palette is Painting while drinking Wine.
"But I can't paint!" my wife complained, when I first suggested it to her a few years ago. HAH! boy was she surprised, the instructor takes you through the baby steps, paint-by-numbers style, sipping some red or white as you go. Tappin' your toes to some tunes.
"Did I really paint THAT‽" she said when the show was over. 'Yes you did, pretty good eh?'
See if you can find a Pinot's Palette Sheldon or the nearest equivalent.
Best.
That would be so fun to do as a couple!
It really is!!! We have a hoot every time we do one. There is no Pinot's Palette where we live but a young artist has started the equivalent "Paint and Drink", so much fun
Ps just google blue topaz silver necklace and you can find nice really ones for $100-200. (I get compliments on mine all the time. same with my labradorite necklace everyone always loves it.) (I also love rose quartz bracelets but they are for more casual daily wear jewelry)
Beautiful ideas above with personal letter, picnic, old treasured memories etc.
I like something called “menu of small offers”, women can get overwhelmed/put off by big gestures so several small ideas that can provide a path forward can feel safe and caring (yes I’m stereotyping here!).
Something like -
I want to treat you would you like a shoulder rub or a foot massage?
Would you like a cup of coffee or a glass and of wine once I’ve finished?
So small actions/treats that can help build to more intimacy and closeness.
Sorry if that’s a bit convoluted I’m paraphrasing what I remember from whomever said it years ago in an email blog I got 🤔😂
Picnic. Either in the woods or at the beach, whichever she prefers. A horse ride there, if possible.
Handwritten love note or lyrics to a love song. Sung if you can sing.
And HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!
Hire a chef who will make a beautiful meal in your home and clean up afterwards too.
Couples massage that comes to your house?
Maid service for 2 weeks?
Dancing lessons together?
World water park day?
Salsa night date night?
Personal shopper at aritzia?
Tea leaf reading?