Everything is...

Fine?

I’ve hooked up security cameras because of the increase in crime in our neighborhood…but everything is fine.

I’ve had to replace my catalytic converter on my car 3x in the last 15 months because it keeps getting stolen…but everything is fine.

We have an alarm set for 7PM every night to make sure we press the lock button on our cars, they’ve been broken into 3 times this year…but everything is fine.

I’ve decided to add in doorbell cams to keep an eye out for porch pirates…but everything is fine.

I wake up 15 minutes earlier everyday to check the events on my cameras to see who’s been through the yard and see what they took, over a morning coffee…but everything is fine.

Even with the cameras, I still had somebody taking a shower with my garden sprinkler in my yard, going to look at locking the fence now…but everything is fine.

We tried to go out for the evening for a bite to eat, but our favorite restaurant was closed because of staffing shortages…but everything is fine.

When we finally went out for lunch, it took 2 hours to make it through the meal because the staff was really overworked…but everything is fine.

We don’t go to restaurants/out on date nights anymore because they have become really expensive lately…but everything is fine; and

Even though my grocery bill is up about 30% over the last year, some items have doubled…everything is fine.

I’ve managed to maintain my budget by not buying fruit, vegetables or meat and stick to processed foods…but everything is fine.

I use the self-checkouts because I really can’t understand the cashiers…but everything is fine.

Canada has 2 official languages that not a lot of people seem to speak anymore…but everything is fine.

No, I really don’t go community events, I don’t really know who my neighbors are anymore…but everything is fine.

We stopped taking our (son/daughter) to community sports because there sure are a lot of really aggressive other children and parents these days…but everything is fine.

We want to save the planet and some money on gas by not driving as far, except we’re a little afraid of public transport…but everything is fine.

We don’t go over to that neighborhood anymore because the standard driving rules and speed limits don’t seem to apply…but everything is fine.

We spent our savings over the last 3 years and really don’t have much to show for it anymore…but everything is fine.

After losing my job a couple years back and not being able to get Employment Insurance, I’ve at least found a job for 1/2 my same income in a field that is unrelated…but everything is fine.

I’ve taken on a second job (driving people/delivering food) to help keep with the increase costs of living…not sure I actually make anything by the end of the week…but everything is fine.

Got to the foodbank early and managed to get a basket today…so, everything will be fine…for the next 3 days.

I didn’t realize how much mac & cheese tastes like playdough until I had to start eating it 3 times per week…but everything is fine.

Now that I can travel outside of the country, I can’t really afford to travel…but everything is fine.

3rd Straight Year of STAYCATIONS, YAHOO…but everything is fine.

We would go out to see family, but since that whole “you need to take the vax so my vax works”, thing…we’d prefer not to…but everything is fine.

We’re looking at downsizing because of the high interest rates, but with housing prices these days and the cost of a new mortgage, we’ll just stay here until we can’t afford our home anymore…but everything is fine.

A guy at the office said that rent has become so expensive, he either has to rent-share with 4 other people or live in his car…but everything is fine.

A gal my wife works with said that they need to prove their income is 3x the monthly rent in order to send in an application to view a rental property…but everything is fine.

A friends son had to sell his condo because of the increase in interest rates, but every time he gets to an appointed viewing time on a rental, it’s already been rented by the time he gets there…but everything is fine.

People sure seem to love camping downtown these days…but everything is fine.

My Straight A child won’t be graduating this year because they fell too far behind over the last 3 years…but everything is fine.

My (children/grandchildren) can’t read too well and don’t know basic math, but they know and use pronouns and demand to be called by them…but everything is fine.

Our (3/4/5/6) year old niece/nephew struggle pronouncing words…but everything is fine.

My 12 year old daughter came home and declared she was a lesbian, without knowing what the word means…but everything is fine.

My 14 year old son started stealing his mothers makeup and nail-polish…we’ve caught him wearing some of her clothing…but everything is fine.

I don’t know what a cis or a furry is because I don’t think we had them when I was in school…but everything is fine.

My sons teacher would be a better looking man than woman and it’d help explain her 5 o’clock shadow…but everything is fine.

I thought they had a change of staff in the Science Department, teacher was Mr. Smith and it seemed an odd coincidence that he was replaced by Ms. Smith. Turns out it’s the same person…but everything is fine.

My daughter rushes home from school to go to the bathroom because she doesn’t want to share it with other girls who have penises…but everything is fine.

Which is funny because my wife stopped going to aqua-zumba because there were too many women in her class who also had penises…but everything is fine.

When did women start growing dicks?

I sure hope the wife isn’t planning on growing one…everything is fine!

Sure are a lot of people dying this year…we’ve attended more funerals this year than have in the last ten…but everything is fine.

People must sure be sick this year, I have to wait a month and a half for a doctors appointment…but everything is fine.

Sure wish I could go to the doctor because of this pain in my chest since I got that last shot of vaccine…but everything is fine.

Tried to go to Emergency, but it was a 7 hour wait to be admitted, waited another 7 hours without seeing a doctor and figured maybe others need attention more than me…but everything is fine.

Speaking of Emergency, it seems every climate emergency that we had over the last 3 months, we used to just consider - seasonal temperatures…but everything is fine.

Climate must be changing, we’ve had to turn off the furnace to save on our gas bill and it had kicked in 3 times over the same last 3 months…but everything is fine.

Just realized that I haven’t even plugged my portable AC unit in, in 7 years…but everything is fine.

We stopped watching the news because we don’t know anybody nor really understand what is going on in the Ukraine…but everything is fine.

We went ‘unplugged’ and cancelled our cable because it was getting expensive and we’ve mostly just been watching streaming services…but everything is fine.

We’ve had to cancel some of our streaming services because the costs of them all together was really expensive and didn’t really make much sense…but everything is fine.

We couldn’t afford flowers this year, but because of the extra jobs we work, we don’t get much time outside anyways…but everything is fine.

We don’t bother tending to the weeds and grass much either. If the city loves the color of yellow dandelions that they can’t be bothered to spray, why should I?

My neighbors don’t either…but everything is fine.

Over the last 3 years, Canada has slowly become unrecognizable to me. The above are comments I’ve either heard in conversation or read in my social media feeds. The conspiracy theory of “You will own nothing and you will be happy”, seems to be playing out…but only partially correct.

People are slowly owning less and less, some already with nothing…some with less than nothing.

But nobody is happy.

And this is Not Fine!

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