Ya know…after like the longest 20 years of my life…that have all been lived in the last 4 years, I had an elderly family member ask me this amazing question, and what was the most profound thing…I couldn’t answer it.
What do you get from this?
This question followed a conversation about world events, where I consider myself fairly well informed - at least in relation to what mass media talks about. I can’t proclaim to know everything and even if I’d made it through the backlog of 50k unopened/unread emails, don’t even know that I’d fully be caught up…but as per current, I consider myself, in the know.
And being analytical, have a sense that even if I paid closer attention, wouldn’t be that much more looped in, than already am.
Appreciating that what I know and what I don’t know that I don’t know about, is a fairly wide gap this week has been…
Incredible?
Unfathomable?
Insane?
I am literally left without words to describe it…even without the most profound of questions, “What do you get from this?”
And surprisingly enough, without ever having been faced with this question, up until now, have had 3 others ask the same thing, this week.
All of these seem to allude to a personal gain, be it financial or other…and I have no answer, because there seemingly is, No Gain.
Why would I risk employment or future employment?
Why would I work harder for no actual gain, than I would if I was paid for a regular job?
In one of my conversations with Regina Watteel, we talked about how completely draining it was to do what we do. This seems a little insane as well, because sitting in front of a screen, without being actually physical it being this physically draining, really doesn’t make sense.
I’d mentioned that at times, where I’d welcome a job that just pushing shopping carts…she mentioned her mundane job reach.
We laughed.
As if we could just walk away from all of this, and probably should for our own sanity, just rejoin the Nonplayer Character (NPC) roles that have been assumed for us.
Drones, in a world of other drones.
And I’m not going to lie to you, this actually seems like a vacation to me…maybe one that I’d even enjoy, more than doing what I’m doing.
The majority of my life, I’ve lived the NPC role…
Get up.
Work a job.
Come home.
Eat Dinner.
Sleep.
Rinse and repeat.
Somewhere inside of this, you get a break…a vacation…that you can enjoy.
What I’m finding out, talking with others who do the same like thing…this doesn’t happen. There is no escape. There is no Vacation.
Well…that sucks!
I mean, I am chipping in at 6:30(ish) am…a stupid time to be even sitting in front of a PC as a technically unemployed person. Even given that I am normally up at the crack of 4:30am, each morning, no matter if employed or not.
It’s a stupid place to be.
This morning, however…even worse because I’ve come to realize that the last time I slept was more than 28 hours ago and when comes to just meals, I’ve eaten twice in the last 68(ish) hours.
While I’m not terribly worried about my feeding schedule, I understand that the combination of these 2 things combined is really not that healthy, when weeks leading up to this, I was working out daily, eating regularly (OMAD), and had refined my sleep schedule.
Now I am seemingly manic?
WTF?
I’ve worked jobs full-time and produced the same amount of content…while still maintaining somewhat of a regular schedule and association with my family…all in a tail-spin now.
Due to this, by accident, on purpose or by opportunity, I’ve taken on extra commitments because I can’t rationalize producing content without a heavier workload, when I’m seemingly falling behind without it.
Weird hey?
Needing to do more, just to have the ability to do more?
In any case…there’s more things to come…this isn’t an end; it’s not a beginning; it’s a time. All because of one question…”what do you get from this?”
And me, who can come up with an answer to almost anything, not having an answer. Not a good answer…not a bad answer…No Answer.
Your my peeps, I just thought I’d keep you looped in…and with the words that are currently echoing, compliments of Noah Kahan:
I'm untetherin' from the parts of me you'd recognize
From charmin' to alarmin' in seconds
I'll be bedridden, I'll let the pain metastasize
But that's mornin', I'll forget it
Integrity? Moral fiber? Personal mental health? I've been asked the same age that's the closest answer I can come up with. The truth matters, no matter how many people hear it, or don't. It's still the truth.
I’d like to think that sooner than we think we will experience the greatest reformation the world has ever seen and you will have been a part of that bc you and many others sacrificed so much to share the truth! God bless! ❤️🇺🇸😊